Follow My Thoughts

The Author

The Author
"Don't be offended. This is all MY opinion. Ain't nothin' that I'm sayin' [law]..."

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

WEAVE...Taboo???... STILL???

*in my Antoine Dodson voice* “WELLLLL!!!……APPARENTLY… “WEAVE” is STILL a “Touchy”, “Sensitive”, or “Taboo” subject!” LOL. Nah, but really, I personally don’t understand what the big deal is about women wearing weaves, tracks, fake hair…whatever you want to call it…??? I myself don’t wear weave at the moment, but I have in the past; and, I would be remiss to say that I won’t wear it in the future.

Nevertheless, even as we are approaching 2011 there are STILL people who look down on, and even despise the fact, that some women wear weave. They see women who wear this hair style as “sell outs” or as being ashamed of who they naturally are. Some feel that women who wear weave are trying to be someone they’re not. They put a LOT of negative connotations on wearing weave as it being the manifestation of a deeper problem with us as Black women not being comfortable in who were are as BLACK women. I’d have to disagree with all of this. Although I’m not an avid “weave wearer”, I generally don’t believe these women are “sell outs”; and I don’t believe they’re purposefully trying to “trick” people into thinking that that’s their “real hair”. Seriously, I’m almost completely sure every woman who wears weave on a regular basis is highly aware of the fact that people are going to be curious. With this being said, I’m also pretty sure that the brave soul bold enough to ask the infamous question, “o_0…Is that your real hair?” will get an honest answer…an answer with slight attitude possibly, but an honest answer nonetheless.

I also feel a lot of women wear weave because it’s convenient and because it gives them freedom of expression with their hair. To many women, hair is an accessory, much like shoes, purses, earrings, etc.  Black hair is so versatile in terms of styling, the possibilities of expression are endless. Those possibilities can range from going back to basics (becoming natural), relaxing our tresses (chemical processing), to adding extensions (braids, twists, tracks, wigs, etc).  

Furthermore, I’ve done almost EVERYTHING to my own hair: weaves, braids, relaxers, wigs, hair dyes, whatever, so unlike a lot of other people I’m very open to trying new things with my hair. Yet, I feel like some women lowkey are too intimidated to try something new for fear of the stigma that society will place on them. For example, a while back, someone literally told me, “...it’s just the idea of fake hair…I just can’t do it.” Funny how this SAME person, wears “fake hair” on a REGULAR basis now. So all I have to say to her is, “REALLY hun, who were YOU fooling?”

Another point I want to make is I find it rather amusing and slightly annoying when men and women turn their noses up at women who wear weave as if that’s “beneath” them. All I have to say to that is “PUHLEASE!” lol. I get a sense that a lot of men feel women wearing weave is unattractive and undesirable. Knowing this, it’s understandable why some women who WOULD have tried it out, NOW in turn shy away from it. Don’t get me wrong though, even though I said I understood why some women would shy away, does NOT mean I myself would do that. I’m self assured with who I am as a Black woman, and I know that no hair style is going to change who I am as a person. Therefore, people can miss me with their irrelevant opinions of how I should or should not wear MY hair.

The main point I want people, especially women, to take away from this is to never let society dictate how confident you should be in wearing WHATEVER hair style you decide wear. Remember that’s YOUR crown and glory, not theirs. Don’t define yourself by society’s standards. Make your own. Know who you are as a person and don’t let outside things like hair and other people’s opinions of you cloud your confidence and self-concept. Also, for those who may or may not still have negative views toward "weave", please open your minds and take what I'm saying into consideration :).

--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Monday, August 30, 2010

Interpersonal Rescission

If I could pour out my affection...into a million glasses...it's potency...would still take you for a loop... If I could give to you... ALL of myself...without feeling cheated...that'd be God's blessing to me...or God's miracle rather. If I could spread my sentiments... across every continent...it'd still be strong enough to support you... but I assume that's STILL not good enough for you. So self-interested, you don't even give a damn.

I want to give you ALL of me...leaving not a drop, piece, or even a crumble ... but I can't oblige...'cause it's the same as being a fool...YOUR fool to be exact...WHY?...I refuse to be another "fool for love"... because TRUE love doesn't recruit fools. I refuse to relay my mind, spirit, and heart to another thief. A bandit of my true intentions... a squander of my heart's inclination. So, I've decided to withdraw...no longer will I be vulnerable to reckless hands...I want me back. 
--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Abyss

"Take a chance on love,
Don't lock your heart up because you've been hurt."
....This is so easy for people to say who haven't seen the bottomless pits of this emotion...past experiences still spilling over into my daily...

"Don't take advice from people who are single and aren't even in a relationship of their own. She don't know what she talking about! She don't even have a man."
....This is so easy for people to say, not realizing that maybe that person is alone because they are waiting for that person who's WORTH waiting for...I couldn't disclose to you what I don't know, or haven't experienced...

"Mind your business, this is MY life!...not yours."
....This is so easy for people to say...but if the endeavors of YOUR life affect me in some kind of way and you constantly make me a factor in YOUR equation, don't be mad when I spew out a resolution.

---unfiltered, random thoughts, no specific situation, just a plethora of ongoing experiences---
--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype
 

Friday, July 30, 2010

Why I HATE the term "Wifey"....


So many people, especially young people, use the term "wifey" on a day to day basis. Most see it as a positive term, but, I don't. "Wifey" is just another word for "main". It irks me to see how some women in relationships actually work toward a man deeming them as his "wifey". I just see it as another way for some guys to categorize women in ways that will make it easier for them to continue doing the dirt that they do. Think about it. A woman becomes open to man in relationship through her ears, you know...through the things that a guy tells her. Most guys are highly aware of this. 


A man knows that calling a chick his "wifey" is probably the door that opens her up to him, because him doing so sort of gives her a sense of how important she is to him in that relationship. Most cases, where there's a "wifey", there is a "sideline hoe"....or two lol. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't like the word "wifey" because it implies that that woman may not the only woman that guy is involved with. It's like a guy telling a girl that she's his "#1"...that's NOT a good thing. Personally, I don't want to be any guy's #1...I want to be his ONLY one. I simply won't accept a man calling me his "wifey".  At that point, I'd HAVE to let him know, "No. I'm NOT your wifey. I enjoy being with you, and hopefully if things continue to progress between us...maybe one day I can be your WIFE." 


To the ladies who may be reading this, it's all about having respect for yourself. Don't limit yourself to being someone's #1 (wifey), when you can one day be someone's ONLY one. That wifey sh*t is for the birds and basic b*tches. I'm creme de la creme honey...are YOU? :). 
--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The "Dime a Dozen" Theory

I was asked to discuss the "Dime a Dozen" theory. According to www.usingenglish.com, if something is "a dime a dozen", it is extremely common, possibly too common. This saying is looked at the same way in society. Someone being referred to as coming “a dime a dozen” is NOT a good thing, especially since every person would like to think of himself or herself as being “one in a million”. The saying is used in many contexts, but I'm going to talk about it in accordance to relationships. Generally, there's approximately 2-3 times as many women in the population as men. The statistics get even worse when it comes to the Black population, with a great deal of our men in prison or dead. 



The previously mentioned may be grim to think about, but lets look at it in terms of economics. The less of a product there is on a market, the higher the demand for that product (men...specifically GOOD men). Well with women, the very opposite is the case. Men know that women outnumber them to a certain extent and some of them take full advantage of this fact. Some men look at like, “Why settle down with ONE woman, no matter HOW good she may or may not be, when there are SO MANY more woman out there just waiting to be blessed by my attention and/or presence.” Lol. Yes, I may be joking a little bit here, but this is NOT far from the actual mindset of a lot guys out there. I'm not trying to put ALL guys out there in a "box", but lets be REAL. This IS the case for the most part. 



I’m only speaking from personal experience and stories I’ve heard from other people.  Many people, not only guys but women too, use this as reasoning to cheat or do whatever other type of “dirt” they do. What one woman/man won’t do, ANOTHER woman/man will. Think about it. If people, specifically men, didn’t know there was a surplus of the opposite sex out there (many of whom are willing and waiting to do whatever they want) they’d maybe try a little harder to MAKE things work in their current romantic relationships. Instead, I believe this saying, “a dime a dozen” is used as a cop out for people to go and do whatever with WHOMever they please. My opinion…but do me favor and just take a second to think about this...:). 


-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Flavors: Part 2

You know I couldn't forget about my BEAUTIFUL Black men. I would be doing myself, and all my readers, a disservice in doing so lol. With THAT being said, THIS post is dedicated to all the different shades of beautiful Black men. *Disclaimer: I posted pictures of only celebrities mostly because their pictures are the most accessible. Enjoy! :)

Denzel Washington

J. Cole


John Legend


Lamman Rucker


Larenz Tate


Chris Brown


Tank


T.I. aka Tip


Usher


Michael Ealy


Tyrese


Will Smith


Trey Songz


 Maxwell

-------
I LOVE MY Black men. 





-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Monday, July 12, 2010

Flavors: Part 1...

This post is dedicated to all the different shades of beautiful Black women. *Disclaimer: I posted pictures of only celebrities mostly because their pictures are the most accessible. Enjoy! :)
Lauryn Hill

Nia Long

Lauren London

Kelly Rowland

Sanaa Lathan

Jurnee Smollett

Eve

Kenya Moore

Jennifer Freeman

Kerry Washington

Keyshia Cole

Lisaraye

Letoya Luckett

........

MY Black...is BEAUTIFUL...



-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Friday, July 9, 2010

Forgotten Hue


Chocolate. Mahogany. Chestnut. Mocha. Cocoa. Caramel. Nestle. Bronze. Hazel. Tawny. Ginger.....BROWN skin. 

I could go on forever trying paint a picture of you, but you're indescribable. The essence of you is lost in translation. Kissed by the sun; your beauty is incomprehensible. 

The LOST subset of BLACK beauty, the forgotten hue. OVERlooked witness caught between a battle of the two extremes...forever in between. Yet still [POTENT] to say the least.

Skin so richsoft...and smooth to the touch. I get caught up...in you. I'll NEVER get enough...endlessly yours...

---Lover of BROWN skin...



-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Your FRIENDship card has been DENIED...

Too many people, including myself have used the term "friend" too lightly. A friend is a person who is there for one he/she cares about through thick and thin. They are people who overlook petty differences that may arise for the benefit of the friendship. Just because you hang out with people and enjoy their company on a regular basis does NOT make them your "friends". Lets be real...they are your ASSOCIATES. Get your mind right and STOP giving access to your heart and mind to any and EVERYbody. Truth is, most people you'll encounter in life won't TRULY deserve it. Learn to "filter".
THIS video explains it all (skip to 2:08) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zvz9J5o4Mc



--Tania aka Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Monday, June 28, 2010

"...this is MY relationship???...ISN'T it???..."


I'm not in a romantic relationship at the moment, but I know what it feels like to have had friends be all up in and THROUGH me and my "man"..."boo"...or WHOEVER's business. Also, I'm not ashamed to admit that I at once have been one of those "friends" to overly concern herself with her girl's romantic relationships. So needless to say, I have been on BOTH sides of the fence when it comes to this.  

I guess the purpose of this entry is to elaborate on what we ALL already know...it's NOT a good look to meddle in your friends' relationships. Not only does this cause a person to second guess the person they're in a relationship with when it's not even called for, but it also makes the nosey friend look lonely with nothing else better to do besides be overly concerned with YOUR life. If their opinions are taken to heart, nosey friends have the potential to be the #1 downfall of a relationship. I understand that they may be genuinely concerned for their friend's well being, but they have to be careful NOT to cross that line between concern and straight up "nosiness". 

I recently learned that if a friend is not benefiting whatsoever from concern about their relationship, then it's best to just back off...totally and completely. When it all falls down...they're grown...you can't control what they do. You shouldn't want to. All you can do is give your opinion of the situation (ONLY if they ask for it), hope that they take it into consideration, and keep it moving. Hopefully, things will work out for your girl/boy's relationship; but if they don't, just do your best to be a good friend in their time of need. 

To those who are dealing with "meddling friends"...my advice to you is to assertively let your friends know that you don't appreciate what they're doing. Also, recognize that your friends most likely have a biased view of what's going on and that you don't need to base how you treat your significant other off anything OTHER than clear cut facts. 

A romantic relationship is a connection between you and your man/woman...NOT between you, your man/woman, and your friends. Take that into consideration the next time you to make a big decision based off what you've heard from other people...even if those "other people" are your friends...

--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Monday, June 21, 2010

Relationships: How Long is Long Enough?

If you're like me me, you have relatively low patience when it comes to certain things. For example, when the light turns green I'll give the person in front of me a certain amount of time to put the "pedal to the medal" before I'm laying on my horn and yelling "Go the HELL ON!!!" lol.

I think the the same same view should be applied to relationships, well (not the yelling part) but you know what I mean lol.  I was asked by a friend, "How long is TOO long to wait on a guy who isn't picking up my hints that I want to take it to the next level?"

Okay, like I mentioned before, I have little patience for what I feel is "bullshit". If a person is in the "talking" stage of their relationship with their partner and they've been there for what seems to THEM longer than necessary, then MOST LIKELY that other person is stringing him/her along. Point, blank, and simple. Now I can't speak for others as to "how long is too long" to wait...that person just needs to follow their own heart on that issue because THEY are the one dealing with it.

In conclusion, YOU have to decide whether you have the time and patience to wait for your significant other to "come around"...OR, you can confront that person head on about what you're feeling. From that point, you can take their answers at face value, good or bad, and decide from there. Most people reading this are too young to be "stuck on stupid". So, if you don't like what you hear, your best bet is to keep it movin...that is all.


-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Friends and YOUR Life

I have been through a lot for my young age, as I'm sure a lot of you who may read this have...and throughout my 22 1/2 years of life I have encountered a variety of people. Thus, I have developed multiple ways of dealing with different people. Despite this, one thing of I believe all people should do is, take a step back and analyze the people they are close to, specifically those they call "friends".

Some questions you may want to ask yourself are: Are these people moving in the right direction in THEIR lives? Do they want what's best for me as their FRIEND? (The envy of "supposed friends" can have an effect on how progressive a person is towards their goals...especially if those friends resent your success, among other things). Also, do they have legit goals, dreams, aspirations? Are they putting forth the effort needed to make those things come to pass? Or are they just...STAGNANT?  

In other words, are your friends just taking their sweet time to get to WHEREVER they're going to the point that it's doing more to HURT them, than HELP them? Don't get me wrong, not everyone's path is the same, but some people have a tendency to get sidetracked by stagnancy and take a wrong turn into the pathway of complacency. For example, we all know people who had ALL the potential in the world...but are stuck in some current state that you feel is WAAAY beneath them. My point is that, just like a person doesn't need to hang around those who are an OBVIOUS bad influence on their life and well-being, they also need to cut ties with people who are PASSIVELY holding them back...people who subconsciously give off vibes that go AGAINST determination, tenacity, and hard work. Stagnancy can rub off on people, just like other behavior that's not conducive to success.

Bottom line, it's important to know the people around you. It's important to know that they are just as determined in THEIR goals as you are in yours because THIS, yes this has a tendency to rub off as well. I don't know about anyone else,  but seeing OTHER people's success...only makes ME want to go after mine even harder...and that's a GOOD thing....


-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Thursday, May 13, 2010

DIGITAL DEHYDRATION: a RISING Epidemic

You've ALL experienced it...well, maybe not ALL of you...lol; but if you're even HALFway attractive, (or can use the HELL out of photoshop lol)...and have an internet profile on some social network (Twitter, Facebook, etc), it's very likely that you've had an experience dealing with a person suffering from this disease. "What disease?"...you may ask......[DIGITAL DEHYDRATION] otherwise known as "being thirsty"....a spreading epidemic that's affecting more and more people online each and EVERY day!
For those of you who are STILL confused as to what being "thirsty" entails, it means being OVERLY eager for something...more specifically male and/or female attention. A person can show how thirsty he or she is ON and OFF line...but THIS post pertains just to ONline "ratchetness".

For example, a person who's thirsty may: post nude pics of themselves, send explicit messages to people, etc, etc...blah blah blah. They may also just...try "TOO HARD" to get at you, i.e. asking for your number 7 different times, in 7 different ways...with your response EACH time being some variation of, "No!"

And what's so bad about it is, thirsty people have the NERVE to catch an attitude when you reject their advances and try your hardest to stay IMMUNE to the shit...."NOOOOO I don't want to give you my number!...NOOOOO I'm not going to send you any pics of me! NOOOO you can't bite my ass!!!...I don't KNOW you...uggh!" lol. They JUST DON'T GET IT!! LOL smh.

Bottom line, you DON'T want to be a victim of this epidemic...if online, you so happen to run across a person who's beyond the shadow of a DOUBT suffering from "DIGITAL DEHYDRATION" the best way to handle them, is to IGNORE them. If this doesn't work, politely let them know that you're not interested. If THIS doesn't work...hell just BLOCK their ass. Like I said, some people just DON'T get it...and they never will...lol *shrugs*.


--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Saturday, May 1, 2010

the LOVE of "he"...by he

.......................instead of trying to consume me..........try understanding me. i am MORE than the [me] you see PHYSICALLY...i am an assortment of feelings, emotions--experiences......can you see THOSE things with the naked eye?....initially....yes?...no?....can you see the POTENTIAL of you, me?...with a raw scope?.....i am a daughter........i am a sister...........mother.......i am the core of the Earth.......without ME, there would be NO YOU....i bore you in my WOMB......has not at least SOME of MY sentiment worn off on you?...............your complete and constant self-indulgence will ONLY hurt you......in the long run. keep on, keepin' on.... the LOVE that waited for you, patiently enough, will ONE day be used, abused.....dried up, and......gone........

--Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Thursday, February 11, 2010

LOVE: The Curse or The Cure...Which is it for you?

So many people grapple at what love REALLY is. To be honest, the only type of love I've experienced thoroughly and unconditionally is that love between parent and child (specifically from my mother). I do not know my father, and I'm not ashamed to let that be known. Sometimes I wonder if my not knowing my father has anything to do with the troubles I've had in romantic relationships...and even in some friendships? I'm sure it does in some way, but that's beside the point....

I know not of the love that people claim to have experienced with their "significant other". Sure I've experienced that "feeling" of what I thought was romantic love; but, I was sadly mistaken. I have been through many changes in my life dealing with men...and the games that they play...that I've decided to withdraw myself from the "game of Love" 100% totally and completely for the time being. I'm sure to those reading this this...this seems to be the common script to many women; however, I believe my story may be slightly different.

I feel like my experience with love has been the way it's been, because God wants me to put Him first. Many women who've had similar experiences dwell on their less than great relationships OVER and OVER but get nothing out of the experience besides loneliness, bitterness, resentment, and the possibility of settling AGAIN in the future. Not taking anything positive out of your negative experience will only hurt you in the long run. Yes, I know it may hurt going back and reflecting on the pain you may have endured, but it's the only way to become a better from your experience.

When people, especially women, find themselves on the other end of failed relationships we need to take the mistakes we've made and apply them EFFECTIVELY (not just until we find ourselves another "boo") to the way we interact with people, how we carry ourselves, and the image we are trying to create for ourselves, among other things. I feel it's very important that when reflecting on hardships to find solace in God because when it comes down to it...He's the only being that will NEVER leave us...if only we'll depend on Him in everything we do.

Thanks for reading. That is all.

-Tania AKA Nia Janei...THE Prototype

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Reality TV: Hit or Miss




Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned sitcoms? You know... the ones that used to come on primetime ABC and NBC ??? Seems like the art of making people laugh has been thrown out the window and traded in for the modern garbage that entails MOST of the reality tv today. Good sitcom shows like Martin, Family Matters, Moesha, The Fresh Prince...on down to The Game, have become obsolete and replaced with "thrown together" bullshit! There used to be an art to writing scripts good enough to make people "die laughing", but today it seems all producers have to do is put a cast of ignorant acting people together in a house and call it "entertainment". The quality of network tv just gets worse and worse as the years go by; and, the script for these sorry ass reality shows get more and more predictable. Producers and writers continuosly enable sorry ass people aiming to get their "15 minutes of fame" and this is starting to get on my damn nerves!

Moving along, there are 3 main types of reality shows...(1) those looking for "love"...(2) competitive based, and (3) the "simple ass squaters"...you know those with people just looking to party while staying in somebody ELSE'S crib. i.e.: The Real World, College Hill, and the infamous Bad Girls Club.

As I mentioned before, reality tv is definitely scripted. We all know certain people are casted to raise ratings. Casting loud, belligerent, narcissistic people is the trademark of highly rated, reality tv shows. I guess in this case, stupidity sells. I've watched enough tv to know that the way producers set up elimination on "dating" reality tv is so that there can be part 1, 2, and 3 of shows like "Flavor of Love". The trick is to pick the seemingly "right" girl but make sure she has at least one flaw that makes it NECESSARY to go on ANOTHER pursuit of love...hence the parts 2 and 3. The same thing can be applied to competitive shows like "I Want to Work for Diddy".


Bottomline, reality tv is a definite downgrade from tv back in the day; and we all know reality tv is never really reality tv...meaning it's scripted to SOME degree. My point is if its producers are going to underhandly script fights and other nonsense...then why not go the extra mile and make a sitcom or drama...or SOMETHING of substance? Reality tv doesn't have any...and after a while...we're going to get tired of seeing bitches (excuse my language) fight......how much ignorant sh** can a person with any level of intellect take? Yet, the sad thing is...we pretty much have no other options for tv entertainment... There are so many things I could go into about the "ins and outs" of reality...but I think I'll leave that to a later post :-).
--Tania aka Nia Janei...THE Prototype